A step-by-step guide for asking for support with honesty, clarity, and care

Let’s talk about feeling stuck and reaching out.

We all get stuck. Sometimes it’s an idea that won’t form, a decision that feels impossible, or a project that’s slowly grinding to a halt. And when the momentum fades, it can be tempting to withdraw, especially if you pride yourself on being resourceful or independent.

But here’s the truth: stuckness is part of growth. And mentors aren’t just for the moments when things are going well; they’re for the wobbles, questions, and re-routes. Reaching out isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a gesture of trust and reflection.

This guide helps you approach your mentor thoughtfully, so you can move from paralysis to progress, even if the next step is simply naming where you are.

Name Your Stuckness Clearly

You don’t have to know the solution, but try to understand the shape of the challenge.

☑ Ask yourself:

• What am I finding hard to move forward on?
• Is this practical, emotional, relational, or all three?
• What have I already tried?
• And maybe have three more suggestions to try/run past them.

✍ I’m stuck because ____________________________
and it’s showing up as ____________________________.

Choose the Right Channel and Moment

Mentors appreciate context. Reaching out with thoughtfulness helps build trust.

☑ Consider:

• Is this urgent or reflective?
• Do they prefer email, message, or face-to-face check-in?
• Can I send a short note explaining the situation ahead of time?

✍ I’ll reach out by ____________________________
and I might say:
“Hi – I’ve been struggling to move forward with [topic] and would really value your perspective. Is there a good time to talk?”

Share Enough, But Not Everything

You don’t need a polished narrative, just enough clarity to invite dialogue.

☑ Try:

• Naming what’s unclear or overwhelming
• Owning the emotion (e.g. frustration, doubt, confusion)
• Keeping the focus on learning, not just solutions

✍ One thing I want to share is ____________________________
because it might help them understand ____________________________.

Ask for the Support You Need

Mentors can offer wisdom, challenge, validation, or just presence.

☑ Be specific about what kind of support would help:

• A sounding board
• A strategy or framework
• A reality check
• A story from their own stuckness
• An encouragement to pause or pivot

✍ What I need most right now is ____________________________
because I’m trying to ____________________________.

Treat It as a Dialogue

Good mentoring isn’t one-way advice; it’s shared reflection.

☑ You might ask:

• “Have you ever felt stuck like this?”
• “What helped you shift gears?”
• “Is there a question I’m not asking that you think I should?”

✍ One question I’ll bring into the conversation is ____________________________.

Final Reflection: Stuckness as Invitation

Feeling stuck might feel uncomfortable, but it’s also a sign you care, that something matters enough to wrestle with. What would it mean to treat stuckness not as failure, but as a pause worthy of attention?

✍ If I could reframe this moment, I’d say:
“__________________________________________________________”

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